Vulnerability isn't a choice. You just kinda fall into it whether you want to or not. No bands of steel to save you from it. Cause when it takes you, it takes you, steel bands and all. But if it's worth it, then stop fighting it. I stopped long ago.

The Hill On My Chin

Don't leave me high.
Don't leave me dry.

But I'm asking for it.


In this entire week, I think I'll remember the moment I had at Timbre alone best. There was clarity, there was quiet and there was no confusion.

The initial holiday high is wearing thin.

10

There's a sudden accumulation of events to blog about, or to put it in a more literal/abstract form, more pictures to put in this glorified digital scrapbook of mine. But since I have the pictures from today's sceondary school outing, I shall just blog on that first.


The outing with Carmella, Cheryl, Elix, KahYuen and Shuchen had a tinge of nostalgia to it. From meeting at CompassPoint, to riding the train to DhobyGhaut. Heck, it's been a long time since I typed their names here.


Caught the movie 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' and it was, fortuntely funny in enough parts, and not a wee bit cheesy. We brillantly killed time before the start of the movie by going to places we didn't even intended to go and only realising it when we got there. haha. Like ending up at Carrefour's mattress department when what Cheryl really wanted was to get real food snacks. There was this stoopid moment when I was just about to trip over my own feet (don't ask) and I slowly went 'oh...' (don't ask) and was all ready to fall when Mella, in this dramatically slow and staged manner went 'oh no...' and reached out to grab me. Funny thing was, it was all natural and not staged at all even when it seem to be staged. Very Mella-ish too.


People I haven't camwhored with for a long while.



Sat, chatted, laughed and drank very expensive cup of Nutello which was, as you can see, is smaller than my fingers at TCC with them to catch up on everything. About the nutcases we meet at JC and poly, about old pengyus and since Elix was there, about the difference between hot and handsome guys. haha. In fact, I was rather reluctant to leave them at 730pm cause we hadn't met for so long. (No offense to the sexyapes but people, I see your faces everyday. But obviously I love every one of your faces.haha)


Taken after I left them.



Crapping with people you haven't met for a long time is fun cause there's new crap to exchange and old crap you can recycle off as new crap and they won't know. haha. We shall meet up again when more crap has been gathered.

Will blog about Party World, Timbre, Bayan Tree and Baybeats soon. Holidays holidays holidays I can finally see the glass top of my study table.

Regarding the previous post, it was a phase I went through. The I'm-so-afraid-of-getting-hurt that-I-would-not-allow-myself-to-be-vulnerable phase. That phase was something I went through years ago and like all random thoughts, unexpectedly sneaked up on me 2 days ago.

I fell, we all have to. But it depends on where you land, how you land. I landed upon His love.

CB exam is over. I woke up an hour later after my alarm, which was suppose to blast blink182 and scare the sleep out of me, failed to do so. I had to contaminate the train with the smell of me going without a shower. Suddenly, I'm making a habit out of being slightly late for exams, seemingly just to add on more adrenaline rush and thrill to the whole process.

Just one more paper to go and it's timbrebaybeatsbayantreecvsschurch for the weekend.

Fact of the day, I ended bruising my knee whilst trying to make my strawberrypocky drop to the slot cause it got jammed. Yet another adrenaline rush. Wait up for my next brilliant move.



Happy Birthday.
We're halfway there.

I once thought myself to be an impregnable fortress built with sarcasm and guarded by cynicism. I was wrong. I still fell.

The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
A few nights later, I am sitting by Grandma's bed, reading Mrs. Dalloway to her. It's evening. I look up; Grandma seems to be asleep. I stop reading, and close the book. Her eyes open.

"Hello," I say.
"Do you ever miss him?" she asks me.
"Every day. Every minute."
"Every minute," she says. "Yes. It's that way, isn't it?" She turns on her side and burrows into the pillow.

"Good night," I say, turning out the lamp.

As I stand in the dark looking down at Grandma in her bed, self-pity floods me as thought I have been injected with it. It's that way, isn't it? Isn't it.

(One of the few books I would admit to liking even though everyone else like it too.)

...

From today's 20 minutes long workout that I did in my room cause I was going stark raving mad from the lack of body activity, I found out I had wrists made of cheap porcelain, bug infested twigs for arms and that my fats don't contain much muscles, nor has any capacity to transform into muscles. My thighs, up till now, still shake like the earthquake that hit Sichuan due to its 2 minutes effort in the wall-squat or whatever it is called.

19

Human reactions are usually predictable, or they are supposed to be. But when it comes to my hair, I always get people making the doh-est remarks.

Miss Lim used to always ask every other week when she sees me,

'What happened to your hair/fringe?'

And I would give my usual smart alecky answer,

'It grew.'

Wayne, 3/4 through our outing on Sunday (meaning he has seen me for the last 3 hours), suddenly exclaimed as if my hair suddenly existed,

'Since when you got long hair??'

And I was like,

' .....you ask this now???'

Cheryl, whom okay fine, I haven't met for quite a while just told me on msn,

'CASS, I JUST SAW YOUR BLOG, I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR HAIR SO LONG NOWWW!'

Then again, this just shows that she hasn't been reading my blog. LOL

The weirdest but the one remark I can't take seriously is of course, by Kevin (whom I hardly ever take seriously).

'Did you just straighten your hair?'

Me: 'NoOOoo, I just trimmed it, I straightened it like 6 months ago.'

Him (in this deep gruff voice): 'It's okay, I'm turned on by it.'

How to take that seriously you tell me?? hahaha

But yes, my hair seems to be on miracle growing steriods to many people.

Law exam is over. No more making puns with it or announcing loudly in public when your friend asks you what you are studying and you say 'LAW' whilst sniggering at the thought of people thinking you really are a Law student.

Now, we just have to get through Mass Murder Ritual (MassMediaResearch) and CB (Consumer Research). ohhhhya, great replacements.

Just, another song.

A song that makes me happy!

I wish I could study with my head down and eyes closed.

22

Impromptu Group-Shots Day.

CELL.

PurPurLiners.

He'd swing his cap back and do a Ash intimidation. -.-

Very WY.

Outing For Jogirl Bday.

Bro looking totally spastic.

Joey looking cute in hat and Wayne looking, gay. As always.

The angle only suited for short people. tsk.

Only I bothered to accomodate the camera. -.-

There was a lot of retarded expressions captured.

SUBWAY.

What happens when you try to smuggle drinks into a cinema.

One of Joeyboy's cups leaked, so he had to get another plastic bag. What that eejit didn't know was, those were special plastic bags for cups. So when he went to get another bag, he tore apart the part dividing the bag cause he thought it was not supposed to be attached. We were like, that's the whole purpose of the bag for cups! LOL. And Wayne went, 'DB people la, have to use muscles at every opportunity.' haha

WY, who chionged from tution.

Just, laughing at Wayne. as usual.


After meeting Dave Ming Zhang.

Today was a fun impromptu typical purpurliners outing which we hadn't had for quite a while.

But towards the end, ya, you know.

Jogirl Turns 18 and Fcbc Turns 22.
(22! LOL, how coincidental, maybe its really part of God's plan for us.)

Really random idea of pilling legs.




Saw them sitting there and it was like, 'oh you guys sitting here cause of the balloons too?'
WE ARE ALL DEPRIEVED.


The awaited balloons.


Sermon too cheem for the boyzxz, we had to wait for them to be debriefed.



Ky: Let's see what happens if I take from low angle.
(5 secs later after the picture comes out)
Ky: HAHA, only see your fat thighs.
Me: ... ... ...





Give Us This Mountain (the less glam version)


My dad's car need a wash.


Taking pictures on mountain.


Lookit, I'm so emo.


Things To Do On A Mountain.

You do Yoga stances,



And stare at the sky.




KY, always cool. even on a hill.



Cept for this.


Not so cool. haha