(Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind)

Away and beyond.

Sentimental Thrash

There's nothing beautiful about a let down.
I used to be the biggest sentimentalist around but for the last couple of days, I have been raging against all sentimental principles- from thrashing old pictures without a second look to cutting my hair which I've not cut for more than half a year. It was as if the happy memories some of them contained pissed me off so much I just had to let them go. There is no point being sentimental if you have no one to share the moments with. This 'exercise' should be considered healthy but somehow I've made it seem slightly ...sad. Never mind, on to happier things and places. Ja Ja Ja Ja pan in ... 32 hours! You can start missing me before that though, I would totally understand.

...Back from the Highlands.

The night we played with the self-timer function.

Possibly more pictures to come but I have to post this picture. It wins the 'So Funny It Doesn't Need A Caption' award.

....She was running to and fro the different hotel rooms.

In the day we ate and played, but at night, the whole lot of us got serious and marched into the casinos, determined to make the owners regret they ever opened their casinos. That...didn't exactly happen. Still, many other things made us happy enough.

4 days to Japan! Now all I have to do is not get sick during these 4 days to make it there. I've also reverted back to my diary writing habits for reasons unexplainable but hopefully less words will appear here. Yes, I know I'm weird for keeping a blog but wanting few words in it. ...time for a boycott.

So many lyrics used to make sense to me. I have had to erase all meanings they once held for me and find new ones. Thank goodness for free downloads? hah.

Short getaway tomorrow before the much longer getaway. Woowoo. I've been waiting so long to get away from here. O and happy birthday Joeyboy, please take care of my Wii.

You left me with so many words but I've got no one to give them to.

My days and nights has been taken away by things I can scarcely remember doing. I've fell asleep with alcohol still coursing through my veins for a few nights now. My thoughts has no space in this new reality and even when I do try to gather them together, they no longer form like they used to. Maybe that's for the best...though I never really believed in this phrase before. What is the best? Situations are always changing and people are always evolving from their current state of mind. A 'best' situation can't exist long enough to matter. I spent a bit of time alone today. A long bus ride on the expressway followed by reading at the library. I'm rather good at being alone though that probably isn't much to be proud of. You make little difference to this world when you are alone.

Chunk Fest at Marina Barrage

There was lots of wind, grass, people, kites and bright colored mats for you to lay on. We took pictures till Jo's camera went out of battery and then talked till the sun set, the whole time feeling as if the sky was just within our reach.

Today I bought a shirt that has faux leopard print fur down its front. I laughed at its tackiness, cheapness and then bought it for 5 bucks. Outfit #1 for Japan is settled. It isn't easy to dress like a slight lunatic cause mental sense has to be sacrificied.

Caramel & Heirloom Cafe


Liting and I had our catch-up lunch at this nice cafe today where we talked nearly non-stop for more than 2 hours over a pot of tea and baked Italian bread. We panicked over the thought of having to think up of more than 12 outfits in a go for our Japan trip. 1 is hard enough, but 12?! What were we thinking going for 12 days?

Come here, oh my star is fading,
and I swerve out of control
And I swear I waited and waited
I've got to get out of this hole.

But time is on your side, it's on your side now
Not pushing you down and all around
It's no cause for concern.

Come on, oh my star is fading

And I see no chance of release

And I know I'm dead on the surface

But I'm screaming underneath
-Amsterdam

These words makes my blood run cold, cause they are so true and yet, instead of comfort, I feel otherwise. Time used to be on my side, and it still is. But only the truly young and foolish can revel in that. I don't think I can be that anymore. (I don't mean this in an emo, I-just-want-to-kill-myself way cause life sucks but am actually thinking and looking at this at a very matter-of-fact manner with a bit of frustration. I very much so want to live.) The future is relentless in its pursuit and it's grip feels more real with every dreaded conversation on Uni I have with my parents. I thought my skills at avoiding topics I do not want to broach was commendable but they've proven me wrong. All I know and all I want for now is not to stick with choices that are safe and ordinary. I've made them my entire life and somehow, this time, I just want to do something different.

Aren't I positively cheery during this holiday season? All results of being sick for nearly a week with the only upside being on discovering more songs and ... regaining a new zest for wanting to get out of the house. Well, actually not so much but I shouldn't encourage the inner-hermit mindset in me. Next few weeks promises near consecutive meals of bbq food and near consecutive trips to the airport.

Despite the 2 blankets and 1 cardigan I wrapped myself in, I felt like a human icicle last night. The continuous stream of staying up late and going out (when I pry myself away from my anime marathons) have caught up on me. The only thing that has tasted nice to me so far is a cup of earl grey tea, which is an accurate gage of how sick I am.

Dinner with the girls at Bliss before fooling around at the playground. That night already feels nostalgic as with all the times you spend with old friends.



Ubin. The only active day I've had since holidays started.

My friends reckon they've lost me to anime. They're almost right. Besides, the weather is too good to pass up on. I'm good, I'm gone.