Last Wednesday at Zouk.

Who do you, who do you, who do you think you are? Hahaha, bless your soul. I think you're crazy, just like me. Some good things in life can be bad, namely inordinate amounts of alcohol and heels in general. We are all a little crazy.

The day out with Wenyan, who still befuddles me 6 years on with her antics.

Dinner at Cuppage last night, before the craziness at Zouk.
I was so hungry, I moped when their meals came 5 minutes before mine. A total lay my head on the table and whine mope fest. Only Japanese cuisine can make me do that, I think.

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I can't believe I am going to dwell in this madness for a few more months. Deferring ANU was the right thing to do, right? Waiting it out for HKU while helping out with the family new venture is worth the delay, right? Right right right. Right. It better be, cause there's no where else for me to go for now.

Japanese Potato Salad with Meji Fresh Milk

I felt a little less lazy today, and also because I needed to get my mind off the offers from ANU and USyd that came in yesterday. I don't find cooking theraputic. In fact, I get fed up most of the time with it. But my mind gets so busy disliking the whole process it stops focusing on other things. Irony that works. ha.

Lunch on a lazy Monday

All of your ways and all your thunder, got me in a haze running for cover. Where we gonna go from here? This week is crucial. Here's me hoping that I come out of the week different.

We hijacked the Mark X and paid a visit to Holland V's 2am dessert bar cause we missed out on it the last time we were there.

Tired little girl who came straight from Malaysia.

Lamb stew supper for Jenson who only had a piece of scrambled egg for dinner. LOL

The desssssssssertssss.

This was supposed to be a group picture. Would have worked if we were glasses.

On the way back, Wenyan crashed on the backseat. We had dropped off Liting and Wantong and were cruising through BKE. The speedometer inched past 110km/h and approached 120km/h. 'Nice isn't it, to have a clear stretch of road before you.' I mused to Jenson. I got the car to a 130km/h. 'Yeah, it is,' he replied calm as ever, as if we chilling by some lakeside. The car felt lighter than ever. It felt like we were cheating time- but only for those few moments. Then my girly my guts gave way and I reverted back to safe driver mode.

A growing disquiet

"Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure time."

-Borges

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Everyone who has ever felt like this, should count themselves lucky, even if it brought much pain. Sudden thought; if I was ever as delicate on the outside as I was inside, I wouldn't be able to stand myself. Yep, that's about it.

'Byousoku 5 Centimeters (5cm per second)'

I want to be reminded of how this movie once touched me, which is why this post is here.

Let's hit the road Jack, cause we're done with this place.

SP ushered us out of their yard in robes with sleeves of ridiculous proportions which made for good fans. There isn't much to say cept that it was goddamn hot under those robes. Yeah yeah, so I know the sentimental notions I have for these 3 years will hit me, just not tonight.

Sabrina Fairchild: Maybe you should go to Paris, Linus. It helped me. Have you ever been there?

Linus Larrabee: [thinks] Oh yes. Once. For thirty-five minutes.

Sabrina Fairchild: Thirty-five *minutes*?

Linus Larrabee: Changing planes. I was on my way to Iraq on an oil deal.

Sabrina Fairchild: Oh, but Paris isn't for changing planes, it's for changing your outlook! For throwing open the windows and letting in... letting in la vie en rose.

Linus Larrabee: [sadly] Paris is for lovers. Maybe that's why I stayed only thirty-five minutes.

from 'Sabrina' (1954)

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I'm still held back by the way of the cosmos and other invisible forces; maybe the Universe hates me.

Happenstance

He got tired of me. I should have said this a year ago. Everything would have been easier. But I guess I wasn't brave enough to admit to that. Silly me, depending on him to end our cycle. It's different now. I'm happy with myself. Insecurities still plague me, but that's human isn't it? I just, feel different. What happened to us has taken on another form. Being on my own is fine. The present is mine but I promise to be more generous with the future. Being this transparent is killing me. I shall stop. Today was a strange day, meeting 3 different groups of people consecutively. But it was all good. Primary school friends have a particular ability to make you feel ancient, especially those you haven't met in nearly a decade. Despite that, I think we enjoyed each others' company enough to overlook that fact, so we might be meeting soon again. Wy&Joey surprised me when we met up for ice-cream and a drive to Anchorvale park after 11 on a school night. I'm not sure we accomplished anything but I get it. We can't always share everything. Some things we should leave for ourselves. Wy drove us home when Joey handed over his car keys; such an act of faith. LOL, but thanks Wy!

To Explain What I've Been Up To

"The term flaneur exists only in French, describing a person who spends entire days wandering aimlessly with the express purpose of doing little more than taking in whatever he sees. A French man is never in danger of running too quickly past the roses to ever stop and smell them. A French man is forever lolling around in the rose bed, happily avoiding the rat race and concentrating on the serious business of simply being."

-A Town like Paris by Bryce Corbett

Salmon burger & Mediterranean Salad.

A lunch we made which turned out more than edible, surprisingly. The bro, who at the start said he would only take a bite to see if it was nice ended up finishing off a burger&salad as well.

2 words. 'Cross Game'. Believe it or not, I have a feeling I might like it more than 'Lovely Complex' once I've finished watching it. Life, seems more interesting only when I'm watching it. How can the same reality feel different when I'm watching anime? This same warped feeling comes when I read Murakami's stories.