Christmas meant nothing this year. For most part, I wish I wasn't aware of it's existence.But whatever, for what it's worth, Merry Christmas to the rest of you non-grinches and have a happ(ier) New Year. I'll be back in 4 days time.

Oh! darling

Last Sunday at Canele and Esplanade. I remembered feeling quite crummy at the start as I had been unwillfully dragged out from the comforts of my room but I put myself through it for jupjup...jup...jupjup. jupjupjupjup. This is addictive. jup.

Set me free, leave me be, I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity

I've finally clicked 1 'SUBMIT' button. Now, maybe just 2 more to go. My teeth feels funny cause of the weird metal bits in it. Suddenly things are set into motion and I'm slowly moving along with the spinning rotation that have been eluding me for the past year. It's been there all this while, I just had to step up to it.

When the bro came along on one of my work trips to GZ&HK;
Eating at this HK restaurant was the highlight of the trip, apart from reaching back home.

So effin good.

This is what this trip turned him into.

Don't be fooled, he was just looking at the pictures, hah.

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Everyone who has experienced my work trips understands why it isn't a vacation even though we are overseas. It's hard because people who has never gone on one think I'm so lucky to be able to "travel" for work so I shouldn't have anything to complain about but it's actually rather draining. When I get back, I feel all out of sorts, and I would go on a "cleansing" rampage to get myself back to my normal state of body and mind. I've also come to associate the spot on my bed beside my lamp as being back home again, the spot where I can be the most at ease with myself. This is the spot that I miss the most when I am away cause when I am away, I can't exist fully as I only exist for my work. That's the part that drains me and that's the part that has to be felt before understanding why my work isn't the holiday package that it seems.

I got all the forms filled up, the documents uploaded and my personal statement that is shamelessly trying to sell my non-talents copied and pasted onto the 300 word space and all I have to do now is click 'submit' but I haven't. Just what am I waiting for??? A G6? (wow not funny)

Where the wild things are

I had the awesomest most surreal technicolored dream today which was probably brought on by the delirium I was in last night from drinking too much wine just hours before. The world was crazy in my dream, like crazy wonderful sort of crazy. There were train rides, alien-like scenic surroundings made up of undulating bodies of water and mountains with people floating on them and my pri school canteen and a dancing scrabble boardgame with katy perry singing in the background. I woke up seriously impressed with myself. Probably the next best dream after the anime action sequence I dreamnt of a few weeks before where I conjured up new moves and powers never seen before in the sky between two anime characters that were a cross-bred between a toad and dragon and I think there was a space ship somewhere in the mix of things. I wish I could stay in my head a bit longer sometimes. Reality is nothing but a stark contrast to what goes on in my own dimension.

You said you would love me until you die, but as far as I know you're still alive

The picnic was pretty and all and I love the cake we baked but everything sort of went wrong,(rain, monkeys, taxi who abandoned us etc..). I reallyreallyreally wanted to picnic on the grass but the stupid rain spoiled that for me. Next year we're just going to stuff our faces in some atas cafe and yak the day away.

displaced

(shot from last year)

I would like to disappear alone to somewhere distant with seasons and strangers and mystery. I would like to cave into myself and curl up there with my eyes shut. I would like to stop feeling so...displaced even though I'm doing okay with what I have now.

I say the right things, but act the wrong way, I like it right here, but I cannot stay

(picture taken at upper pierce reservoir, and no that's not me in the shot)

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Playlist November;

Hard to explain by The Strokes

Bone Dry by A B & The Sea

I'm Shakin by Rooney

Bus Stop by Basement Birds

Twenty One by Mystery Jets

Yes and No by The Shivers

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Feels like a grim grey month and so does my playlist. I've been a wreck this week partly because I allowed myself to be and mainly because I needed to be. I might be flying on Tuesday to BKK and then to HK the upcoming Tuesday, so yes, let me make a mess of myself while I can when I'm home cause overseas it will just be workworkwork.

Conversation with self

At this moment, all I can do is sit here and breathe. At this moment, everything else is a little out of reach. This is all I can do. Nothing else. And you would have to accept that, cause I'm doing all that I can do, even if it's drastically less than what I can actually do. In a few moments, I might get out of this bed and get dressed up. Maybe even do it with a spring in my step. But not now. For now, everything just feels too hard.

In a strange room

I read somewhere that said people read for 2 reasons, one being that they liked reading and the other reason being that they could tell people they read. So here I am shamelessly fulfilling the 2nd reason,hah.

"

"He watches, but what he sees isn't real to him. Too much travelling and placelessness have put him outside everything, so that history happens elsewhere, it has nothing to do with him. He is only passing through. Maybe horror is felt more easily from home. This is both a redemption and an affliction, he doesn't carry any abstract moral burdens but their absence is represented for him by the succession of flyblown and featureless rooms he sleeps in, night after night, always changing but somehow always the same room."

- In a strange room by Damon Galgut

"

When you're lucid, you're the sweetest thing

Hong Kong for the 6th time.

I've been trying to salvage the pictures I destroyed but it hasn't quite worked out that way. Note to self; next time, prepare backups!

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(yesterday, while buying tickets to watch 'Due Date' at Cinileisure)

Jenson: Do you have promos for students?

Lady behind the counter: No

Jenson: Safra?

Lady behind the counter: No

Jenson: GV member?

.......... Wy and I had nothing to say.

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& I know I haven't said this, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY WY! &&&&& guess what I dug out? My frienster testimonial for her! (Srsly, I once wrote like that? Really???!)

Cassandra 2004-04-18

'yox!!haha..tis gal ar..beri pro in badminton one lor..ply wif her ar..almos any angle also can hit.she is a beri gd fren..remember tt time gd fridae...sho pathetic..onli 2 of us go prison..haha..she oso like bullyin me..along wif regina they all..haiz.....out of two stinkin packets of m&n i onli gt 2!!!!!wth lor..haiz... but i beri gd wan alwaes forgib them..hehe..she oso beri smart and cheerful wan..so ya...peace!'

(us standing in the middle of a field like dumb and dumber, circa 2006.)

All I want to say is, I'm so glad we are so much cooler now. Here's to another 6 years of courtship!

We are all after the same rainbow's end

Morning flight perk.

I get huge cravings for beer whenever I'm overseas, not sure why.

Hokkaido Matcha Milk Pudding Shake (I might have gotten the arrangement of the words wrong but you get the idea, it was awesome.) and a bowl of beef udon which is what it is.

Changing room of Monki and my lace-up boots.

The 9hour ordeal. The terminal was so empty it felt like the rest of the world has left us behind. There were only dudes fixing stuff and a whole of good they were;making so much noise banging random metal things while I tried to sleep on 2 armchairs placed together.

My startling face (sans makeup, sans sleep, sans everything and so I look like shit) at 2 A.M? Not sure what's with the weird expression but the eyebags kinda says a lot. And again, with the beer at around 3 A.M.

Yay, so there are pictures now, though not from my dslr. I would like to end off by saying that I love beer and I love my boots and I should sleep now right nowwww.