Teachers are sadists.
Either they keep us in suspense by not telling us anything about our test scores or they give all our test results back on the same day.
I got back my chi.phy.chem.eng and emath test today.
Chinese.I got a 57/100.But I was still happy.Because at least this time I passed.My expectations for my 'chinese' is way down low.So it was okay for me I guess.
During chemistry,my heart soared.Miss widayah was absent for the day and I scored a 18/20 for my chemistry paper.
During physics,my heart sanked like titanic.Actually it sanked a couple of times.Cause I didn't do my physics homework.And well...the teacher wanted samples from us.So I kept praying that she won't picked mine.She didn't.But what tense moments were those for me.Oh yah.There are even more sadists teachers then those whom I had mentioned above.Those who tell us in the beganning of the lesson they were going to go through our paper only at the end of the lesson.DO U KNOW HOW FREAKIN IRRITATIN IS IT???Anyways,my heart sank once more when it was known to us that those people who got 12/20 and below will be having extra remedial lessons.I got a 14/20.I guess it was so-so.
I guess my heart sank the lowest during emath.Can you believe...the easiest paper and I got a stinkin freakin way downnnnn low 3/15.What kind of shitty marks is this???ARGH.You'd think I would have got used to failing math...but it still hurts.Kinda hard to get use to this.
Then it was english.I am not really sure why.But it was my most nerve wrecking time.My hands grew cold and sweaty in a span of 5 mins while Mrs yong droned on about our main mistakes.Mr ong yong ming particularly annoyed me by smiling sadistically over his shoulders at me though..as if he knew something that I didn't.In the end my heart went back to its normal level again after I found out I beat oym!Ole ole ole ole...He had absolutely nothing to say.I had plenty.Oh boy did I.But I just said "now you can't kpkb with me le".My lack of social skills astound me sometimes.But I can't be bothered being civil with him.I got 23/30 by the way.
After school met up with shu chen they all and elix they all.Suddenly shu chen they all like vanish.Went to school library with lix.mella and jesse.Went to hougang mall with mella and did a lil shopping at ice lemon tee.There was a sale on and me and mella bought 2 tee-shirt for $10.Spent quite some time browsing.hehe.We met up with qiuling,peishan and jocandy.Walked around and went home at around 6 with mella.
All in all a pretty shitty day.
ps:congrts to sophia for doin well for her Os!~
to0dles.

I've got something to announce.
I,Cassandra Koh Li Yi (or more fondly known by kazhua) has bought her very first chinese cd(vcd to be more exact.but wth.)Miracle ain't it?
Yup.
You heard it hear first people.cue for applause!!!*
Thank you Thank you.*waves hands gaily and humbly*
After 15 years.MY FIRST CHINESE CD!~
Its actually jay chou incomparably live concert vcd.
Can see why elix chose him to be her husband.There's just this cool aura around him.He needn't need to act cool unlike so many guys that I know.*hint hint*
hahas.jkjk.
He's just naturally cool not to mention suave in his own way.
Gosh.I'm actually gushing about a CHINESE celebrity.
And have you guys seen him playing the piano?
Omg.
So darn heart melting.
Guys who can actually play the piano properly are sooo attractive.
In fact,guy musicians are in general very attractive.
There's just this extra appeal about them,ya know what Im trying to get at?
Hehe.
Went to jessebelle's house today.
No gambling today.New year is over.Cassandra the guai gerger is back.
Before that,I met chooyeow.daniel.kang cheng and chiyong at heartland mall.
After eating,we headed to minitoons to buy bdae pressie for cheryl.
Guys beheave sooo differently from girls when shopping.
After that,we met joey.xinying.amy.jocandy and kangqi.
And we begin our hike to jessebelle's house.
Like a bunch of fools.We decided to literally hike to her house instead of just simply hailing a cab.
The sun shone mercilessly down on us and the road to jess's house seem to stretch for miles.
My charles and keith shoes were killling me.
We berated ourselves for not hailing a cab and complained that jess better had her aircon on full blast and iced water prepared for us.
And luckily,she did.
Otherwise she would have to meet with 10 angry,hot and pissed people.
hahas.
jkjk.
Anyways to sum it all up.
We ate pizza and potato wedges.Watched jimmy neutron(hahaha).Watched happy tree friends and laughed at all those sadistic scenes.
Went to heartland mall's burger king with the guys and kangqi.
Reached home around 7.
And now Im here blogging and oggling at jay chou once more.
to0dles.

Has wrist cutting become a fad or something?
Cause Im not really catching something here.
I mean...is it very pleasurable or whatever??
Or just because when you are depress you are suppose to cut your wrist?
It seems like everywhere I turn there's a standard line of cut across their wrist.
Er..HELLLLOOO...
In case you haven't notice...
causing pain on yourself ain't a very smart thing.
DUH.
No offence or anything.
This is just my personal opinion.
Guess its just my way of showing my twisted concern.
gtg.
family dinner once more.
to0dles.

I have been wallowing in self pity lately.
Because of what a certain someone said.
Im walking around with a perpetual glazed look in my eyes.
Esp during periods in between amath and emath.
Those are the worse.
Been disappointed in several stuff lately.
Will perhaps elaborate some other day.

wallowing in self pity

Haven't been a good girl lately.
All I have been doing most of late is gambling!
On wednesday it was hengthye house.
On friday it was elix house.
Later I am going to cindy house and tomorrow pei yun house.
I came up with a theory.
I can't win at gambling at guys house.
Simply can't.
I am not sure why either.
Anyways.
My brillant future telling skills popped up again.
I dreamt that elix changed her blogskin.
And to my surprise..she really changed!
Muahahahas.
My skills are indeed evolving.
Yup.
hahas.
crapping la.
but really la....quite surprise.
oh well..gtg to cindy house le..
to0dles

yayaya

Today is the long awaited Vday.
Rose scented air wafted into my room.
Clouds seem to be adorned in the shape of hearts.
The sun seem brighter and everyone had a special glow about them.
It was lurrveee in da air baby!~
OMG...like who am I kidding???
So digusted by the paragraph above.
Hahas.
Actually I didn't even know it was Valentine's day till shan told me in school
I was like....er..ya so? with that 'oh get lost I just woke up from a bad dream mood'.
I was damn lethegic throughout school today.
Had to visit the Doc at 2 am the following night due to bad case of stomach cramps.
Was especially hard to keep awake during chemistry.
Contrast to the paragraph above the day seemed pretty bleaked.
Esp when I see other girls valentine's gifts from that special one.
Aiyoh...so jealous leis.
Hais.
Of course I not that despo yet to buy myself one.
But I think I close to doing it.haha
jkjk.
Went home with mella.lix and cheryl.
Bouqets of flowers,balloons in the shapes of heart.
Felt like I was being stabbed in the heart everytime one of those passed me.
See no evil.
Went home alive but just barely and I drown my sorrows with a martinee.
Like real.
well....
what can I say.
Oh ya..wana know whate I wrote for my secret 'pal' yong ming?
The bfore edited one goes like this
Dear mutherfuker overachiever yong ming,
^%$#$% lalala...yayaya like whatever ya noe.
Sincerely hope you have a miserable happy 'appreciation' day.
Don't study too hard le la..in other words,
GET A LIFE.
Sincerely yours
Cassandra.

Thing on my mind now is probably about the 2nd last episode of the amazing race.The part where aaron proposed to hayden.I was seriously surprised.I actually thought that he was going to break up with her.But oh nooo...it was the other way round.From what I had observed,she was driving him mad with her paranoidness and he was driving her mad with his laid back attitude.They both break down on tt episode and was the last team to arrive.But.......he proposed to her.Right there and then,I realised I didn't understand love as well as I thought I did.I was kinda confused.And I don't like to feel confused.So there I was going hysterical.Just because I couldn't fucking get love no matter how hard I tried.Thats frustrating to me.
Caught 'I do I do' with kahyuen today.Poor Kah yuen.She had to endure a pornshow beside her throughout the entire movie.hahas.Felt like telling that couple to go to a hotel than a theatre.I wonder why they bothered to waste their money on a pair of movie tics.Never mind.I bet all movie directors love this kind of pp.Use 'going to catch a movie' excuse to actually make out intensly under the dark surroundings of a theatre despite how bad the movie might be.
its late.shan't rant no more.to0dles

gamble!~

I have been spending the last two days gambling my ass off.Went to Daniel's house on thursday with peiyun and yanshan.Met peiyun and choo yeow at hougang plaza bus stop at arnd 130.Peiyun arrived around 20mins later and we hailed a cab to dan's house.When we reached his block py discovered that there was actually more than 4 guys going.No wonder she was so easy going about the whole 'so much more guys than girls' thing.We both almost chickened out actually.hahas.In the end we had to go in because.........we were already standing outside his freaking doorstep.Stupid hors.At first it was only dan,chiyong,chooyeow,peiyun and me in da house.It was only later when we both went to the toilet when vis,kangcheng and gary came.Oh the horrors.Soo there was me and peiyun hiding in the toilet-unwillingly to get out.hahas.We went out in the end of course,after summoning up much courage.Lols.After the guys ate we started gambling in dan's room.I was pretty quiet throughout it though.Yanshan joined us later and sadly because the number of guys there we girls couldn't exactly get 'hiong' like we were in zen house in sec1.How I miss those days.....Anyways...back to dan's house...
After py,vis and gary had left we started playing thaiti.No money involved though..alot of us were pretty much broke.I realised later that I had walked in to dan house with $46 sitting in my wallet but after I came out I had only $23 left.Oh the horror.They asked me and yanshan to go to kaly house with them but we two wanted to have 'er ren shi jie'.hahas.talk cock.Went to compass point Mac and had twister fries.Went home around 7 and had dinner.Full sia.
Anyways Im sick of blogging today so I shall blog tml on yesterday.
to0dles.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!`
For the sake of getting into the festive mood I going to use the colour red for my font.hahas.Don't even know why I'm telling you guys this.For the new year renunion dinner,my family went over to my cousin's condo and had buffet by the pool.3 words to describe it.Blustry.Dark.Weird.
hahas.
But it was cool.As in literally cool.A good break from Sg's usual humid weather.Kinda regretted wearing skirt though.Such inconvenience.Was bored though.No one to really hang with.Luckily I brought my book.By the end of the night I had finish 3/4 of it.I was THAT bored.After reading I then remembered that I had loan my hp to my bro and I hadn't seen him or my hp for ages.Off I go searching for him.And guess what I saw?Why...they were placing prank calls.How surprising.NOT.Ok..I admit.It was darn funny.Esp when my cousin did the obi-1 konobi.Not exactly sure about the spelling.I couldn't help giggling when he did those prank calls.
We left around 11 and my mom actually wanted to make a detour to some lame flower garden to get in da mood` but we all protested vehemently and she soon gave up the fight.Went home and immediately headed to the computer.I spent the new yr 2005 in gb...and when it turned to chi new yr 2005 I was also in gb.
Pathetic huh.Wish I was out with my girlfriends out clubbing and joining the city's countdown.hahas.Like real.
I guess after 15 years my new year has been pretty predictable.It was going to that same house seeing the same pp and feeling the same boredom.Gosh..I'm such a wet blanket sometimes.
Guess I shall stop here.
to0dles.

yadayada

I don't want to write any more depressing entries.But its seems like its only when I feel down then I would feel like blogging.
Never mind.I will try to keep things to norm.
Today was a pretty heavy day.We had phy/chem.amath/math.eng/chi.
Whew`.
Attended math cube briefing after school.Luckily it was pretty short.
I am worried I will be in da red group.I think its a sure thing Im going be in that group.
Went to compass point with lix and mella and we had our lunch there.Lix also bought a box of chocolates for a friend.Sat 161 home with mella.And of course we chatted non stop once more.
Ya noe what...
I don't feel like blogging what I don't really want to blog.
So I shall stop here.

frustrations

V-day is coming.
Red roses.Pink hearts.Lovey dovey songs.
They can all kiss my ass.
Blegh.
Especially wonderful time for us poor singletons.
Puiiiii.
I think I going to be doing what I have been doing during Vday for the last 15 yrs.
Hole myself up at home.
Watch sappy movies.
Hear mushy toe curling disgusting declaration of love radio dedications on radio.
Oh the woes of being single.
Shall not feel sorry for one self any longer.
Sunday.Sunday.Sunday.
HmmmmMMm.
Chinese tuition was particularly frustrating.
I had engaged the help of my teacher to test me my chinese spelling.
Thing is.
While I was trying to remember the strokes for that word she would babble on and on entirely on a different word.
I was messed up.
I wanted her to shut up badly.
How annoying.
Her voice got my nerves seriously tested.
Arghhhh.
In the end of course I didn't learn much at all.
So ya.
I know she wants to impress my dad and all with all her 'extra' knowledge on the word.
But thats simply not the way to do it.
The words 'DIAM LA' was constantly on my mind.
You wana show how capable you are to my parents?
Fucking teach them la.
Take IQ test la
Don't come disturb me.
I am already such a disturbed girl.
hahas.
Jk.
But seriously woman you should shut up for once.
You shut up and just maybe for once I might pass my chinese test.
Really.
The world would be a better place.

Im bored.
I was bored yesterday and I am still bored today.
Very very bored and restless.
I was so bored I did my amath homework.
I was so bored I watched 'hey arnold' on tv.
I was so bored I watched the rerun of 'school of rock' again and fell asleep while doing so.
School let us out at 10am and as predicted I went home alone.
How miserable.
I never thought I would say this but I'd rather stayed back and watch the investiture.
I past my time at home restlessly and blegh-lessly.
Today I woke up and felt like crap.
Cheered myself up by eating chocolate cream pie in da early morn.
Nothing much to blog actually.
I guess it was because I was bored.
hahas.
to0dles

Ok.
So maybe I came across a little TOO depressive in my previous entry.
I was, I guess a lil pissed at the world.
And being the dramatic me........so ya...
Anyways.
About today.
It was this and that.Here and there.
Highlight of the day was probably the skits put up by 3kn3j.
Was also very glad to hear that school will be ending at 10am the next day.
10am.
Wowhee.
Hm...what should I do with myself?
I probably just go home-alone once more seeing that all my friends are either involved with the investiture thingy or cca.
Alas,
whats the point of letting us off early?
Oh well.
At least we won't be having our chinese spelling tml.
Im totally babbling here.
Went to elix's house today.
She actually invited me to go.
We use to had to beg her to let us go.
Lols.
Went there,scan pictures,watched ufo baby,did hmk(yes we did actually),talked and of course listen to jay chou.
Lols.
All in all a pleasant afternoon.
I came to realise that I am not sounding like myself in this entry.
Sound too erm....formal?
Hais.
Oh ya.
My secret pal.
The very thought of it set my toes to quiver in disgust.
Damn gay.
I intend to make as lil contact as possible.
He better cooperate.
Miss wong told us more on the trip to china.
I am in a muddle now.
Should I go or should I not?
Its like if I put down my name.
I am in.
Full stop.
Soooo....must give it more thought.
Time gona be running out soon though.
hais.
See bahs.
till then
me

maniac depressive

So many thoughts are swirling about in my mind now.
I think I need to go for an all out rant.
Supremely pissed.
Not for the first time might I add.
Goddamn it ppl.
Stop taking me as a punching bag.
I am not some emotionless ass who you think you can just beat up any day you want.
I am not some cheery comic cartoon who don't have feelings.
I do.
In case for some strange and wayward reason you haven't notice it.
This year is sucky.
No other way of putting it.
It sucks!
I feel like yelling at someone now.
farkiinn hell.
Don't give a damn about my language.
farrrrrrrkkkkkkkk.
I wish I was a kid.
No big thoughts...
No need to pay for huge consequences...
No one will blame you if you do something stupid course afterall you are just a kid.
They say teenage years are the best time of your life.
Oh god.
You mean to tell me adult life gets worse then this???
Oh no.
I think I am going to kill myself when I am like 21.
Of course only after taking pot,smoking marijuana,drink till I am drunk and watch R(a) movies,go to a nudist resort,experience being high THEN I will kill myself.
Maybe I should get pregnant and married at the same time and then I can die and tell god I lived my life fully and happily.
Not in the right state of mind now.
Maybe I am maniac depressive.
WoweE.
My life just gets better and better.
bahs.