On Hiatus

"Mitchell Sanders was right. For the common soldier, at least, war has the feel-the spiritual texture-of a great ghostly fog, thick and permanent. There is no clarity. Everything swirls. The old rules are no longer binding, the old truths no longer true. Right spills over into wrong. Order blends into chaos , love into hate, ugliness into beauty, law into anarchy, civility into savagery. The vapors suck you in. You can't tell where you are, or why you're there, and the only certainty is the overwhelming ambiguity. "

-The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien

I don't think I miss the silence of sitting here alone.

I need to get angry. I should get angry, but what efforts that requires.

Is it too much to ask for some form of closure from you so that I can go back to functioning normally?

Mindless hiphop/rap songs does wonders. So does my leather red knapsack.

The Speck of Life Found in Your Hair

Time to ignore the questions and face realism, which is really all there is, outside of your pretty little head of imaginations and make-believe world.

...and so I shall let go, with the painful knowledge that cliches though often mocked, are essentially true.

Cause we were never meant to live forever.

Stone Cold

When nothing is supposed to be 'taken personally' for minimum of 4 hours at a go but a lot of it seems personal (especially when you're asked to 'disappear'), it takes a toll on you- even in a mechanic state. If only I was more aggressive, hah.

Playing with my nieces is like therapy, they make me forget but I midway I'd fall through and I think they could sense my collaspe.

I'm suddenly juggling a intrepid mix of things- school, work, driving lessons, finalyearproject leader (inability to say no), fashion helper for lollipop at zouk (inability to say no) and I've yet to complete my article to qualify for AsianYouthGames (inability to churn out a sport's article).

Note to self- must maintain wisdom and throw away wrecked emotions.

Too bad breakfast with Miss Lim and the girls today was short-lived. Glad I didn't talk as much this time round about myself though. Cause that's actually who I really am and they're the only people I feel comfortable enough to keep silent and know I don't have to be the one to make things more enjoyable for everyone else. Self-indulgence? Maybe, but it's about damn time.