paper thin lies

cold.so cold.




sometimes life can be unbearable and during those moments i try to lose myself,to detach from my mind,my thoughts and my heart-all the things that hurt.
i lose myself in the blandness of concrete,of whitewashed walls.
sometimes i suceed,sometimes reality doesn't allow me.

those moments of not thinking,not feeling is somewhat natural and unnatural at the same time.
though im not too sure which is more tiring.
trying to numb out the hurt or trying to overcome it.

there are times when i feel suffocated.
even when im reading,i would suddenly feel this strange heaviness in my head and no matter how many deep breaths i take it would still be there.
maybe its because of my surroundings-the entire nosiness and disruption of it that i feel that way.
i wish i had my own sweet meadow,my own hillside complete with fresh morning air and its own sunset.


this week has been an introduction of the months to come and i am not liking it very much.
the whole working almost non-stop in school from 8am to 9pm is taking its toll on us and it is balantly obvious during the day.

just how the heck am i going to finish my revision i have got no clue.


sighs.
sighs.

byes.