paper thin lies

medicine cures my ailments but drains away my emotions. my monthly booklist is now 4 post-its long no thanks to lj's literary quotes page. hot soyabean was the only thing i could taste for the past 3 days, strange.skipped school today and its scary how easy it is not to go and then not care at all. how does anyone live up to all the big notions of love? it seems impossibly difficult to do that just by being yourself. thank god tomorrow is a holiday. i need to feel somewhat humane after all the breathlessness and coughing. argh, all that coughing. last night i wish i didn't need to sleep cause it was so hard to breathe. i suppose this has been all rather jumbled up and mixed but what the heek, this is what blogging is about ain't it. writing the way you want to though i would be giving myself too much credit by saying its writing. for what it's worth, at least they are true honest to god crap.