Dear Fwen,
Got our results back today.Fucking miserable to say the least.Tears were constantly sighted but amazingly I didn't break down.I don't know whether because I was already mentally prepared for it or because my heart was already just plain numb.I just felt...nothing.I mean sure I felt upset..but it was like it hasn't hit me yet..till now..not yet.The number - will probably haunt me forever.Argh!!I really don't know how in the world I am going to tell my mum that I got a - for math.Oh god.Just thinking about it makes me sick.Went to Rm after school and everyone was so depressed.I was like 'whats the point of crying over it..aint going to change nothing'.Is obtaining grades all to life???Who cares about what grades you get when you are finding a job.Is your freaking boss going to look at your sec 2 and 3 reccord????People wake up.Look at the trees..look at the sky..take a moment out of your selfish life to think about others much worse off then you...appreciate that we are able to live in peace..for godsakes snap out of it people.I am going crazy.Maybe I am trying to make myself feel better that grades don't matter.They do?..oh I don't know...Miss Koh describe our math marks as disgusting..I felt pretty hurt as I felt that the comment was probably shot at me.Disgusting eh..well I am disgusted at my stupidity thats for sure.I am like fucking pissed and miserable right now but can I show it to my friends..no.The friggin ironic thing is I am comforting people who got higher marks than me..that they would make it...............fucked up.the whole system is so wrong.I was going mad inside my head.I was visualizing myself thrwoing chairs around...shoving tables away and screaming at my friends who thinks its the end of the world for them.I did nothing of that sort in real life.I just shut up as many told me to do so.So there they were crying their hearts out..and making me feel worse...but I have to comfort them.No offense people..just mad at the world now..sorry if I pissed you off.Just stating what I feel...whether you like it or not.Slefish thoughts..yes..but whatever.I don't give a damn right now.But I am mad at myself the most.Disappointed hardly describe how I feel now about myself.*flips math off*
bye.
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